a birth story
raw, real & unedited.
The weeks leading up to the birth of our son were less than ideal. Waiting was killing me. I was so bored and began to become really uncomfortable. A lot of opinions rolled in telling me to enjoy this time and how tired I will be after. But I am tired now. I would rather be tired with my baby in my arms. I was so ready to get this show on the road. Well, his due date came and went and every passing day I had at least 5 people asking me if I was still pregnant. I started to become annoyed. No news is no news people. The constant asking was just a reminder that I am in fact still pregnant and now becoming increasingly impatient.
I was so over being pregnant my doctor asked me if I wanted to schedule an induction, without hesitation I said yes. But then as the time passed I felt guilt, I felt remorse. Is this how I really want it to go? I had this vision, expectation if you will, of going into labor and rushing off to the hospital. I was so done with this pregnancy and I was beyond ready to meet him and become his mom but I also so badly wanted my body to do its thing. It's was a confusing feeling between wanting it to happen and wanting to trust God's timing and my body. I started to feel very scared of the induction, what if my body and my son aren't ready? What if I am selfishly making this happen when it isn't supposed to? I was shutting down. I stopped responding to text and calls from people, I even didn't want to talk to my husband. I was really in a battle with my own mind. My idea and plan is not going the way I want, but I am the one who said yes to the induction?
I spent the last week leading up to the induction completely out of my mind bored and frustrated. Frustrated with myself and my body, hoping it would just kick itsself into gear. Frustrated that I was letting myself behave this way and not try to enjoy this time. It was a really challenging week for me. I didn't like knowing that if he didn't come on his own, that meant Friday at 9 am May 28th I was going in to have him. I hated knowing that. And for someone who loves to plan and have control this completely threw me. I didn't want to already know his birthday, I didn't want to be prepared. It gave me more time to over think and stress. I know I was being hard on myself and I was flooded with emotions. For having a really easy pregnancy this last 2 weeks was something I did not enjoy.
So I prayed. I prayed for patience and strength through this waiting time. I prayed for peace in trusting God's timing and plan. Thanked God countlessly for even being able to experience pregnancy all together. I had a few good cries and on Tuesday night May 25th I had a chocolate milkshake and watched The Worst Cooks in America with Brandon to cheer me up before bed. 10pm we turn off the lights and not even 5 minutes of closing my eyes I had a shooting pain and thought, can this be? I didn't want to get my hopes up but they kept coming. I opened my app to track them and they were consistently 5 minutes apart and about a minute long. I woke Brandon up from only about 15 minutes of sleep and told him to get ready, I think its time! By 11pm we were headed to the hospital.
God is so good.
On May 26, 2021 at 2:18pm we welcomed our sweet baby boy, Callan Vance Galik. At 6 pounds 1 ounce and 19 inches long.
Looking back on my time leading up to his arrival I am glad I went through a bit of discontentment. It made me realize just how blessed I am and the importance of truly trusting in God. His timing is perfect, better than I could ever plan for. I appreciate the growth of gaining more patience and letting go of my own control and expectations.
As I write this post we have spent 2 incredibly sweet weeks with Callan. Becoming a mom is completely life changing. Brandon and I feel so grateful for this boy and our family. He truly is a blessing and a daily reminder of God's love.
We have the happiest baby and are soaking up every bit of this precious time. Thank you for all of the warmest wishes.
xx.
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